Fucking it probably won't help

1) Do you have those, happy-go-lucky friends that are always smiling, laughing and shit? Yea? I'm one of them. However, I wear a 'mask'. Everytime I meet my friends, i put on a 'mask'. But I couldn't take it anymore.. this past few days I've been ignoring my friends and just staying home and rot in my room. I haven't showered in two days, haven't been communicating well with my family. All I do is sleep, eat, play with my phone(check this app and stuff) and play with my cat.
2) Problem i have is well, I'm overweight, dumbass, school-less, work-less and well, just plain ugly. At least that's what I feel.
3) i'm contacting with some guy from a different continent. Sucks, cause I like him a lot.  He likes me too but its just not going to work right? :(
4) I haven't had a boyfriend before and I'm almost 18.. its by choice tho, I stop showing interest to guys when I know they like me. I don't know why!
5) I haven't had a school or work for 2 years now. Idk what to do with my life. Fml

Gender: female
Sexual Orientation: straight



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