Sociopathy sounds lonely

1) most of the people in my life would describe me as quiet, kind, gentle, and polite. What none of them know is all of that is a facade. The truth is I have all the classical characteristics of a sociopath, and would rather see them all dead then deal with them. I find that at best they are all annoyances and at worst hinderances to my way of life, but in as much that I cant be rid of them all the facade helps me deal and makes my life easier.
2) I lie to everyone, often about things I have no need to lie about. I do this for various reasons such as entertainment, because the truth is none of their buisness, spite, though mostly it is to make my life easier. I dont feel bad about this though because if they a stupid enough to believe me they deserved it.
3) I am a sadist. I in fact fantasize rather often about being the cause if another beings pain and suffering, even death on occasion. There is a smile on my face now just thinking about it.
4) I fear nothing, but I dont mean that as if I am some sort of badass. I literaly mean that my greatest fear is that in the end I will be nothing, that when I die I will simply cease to exist.
5) I have put serious consideration into dissapearing into the third world and surviving as I hired gun, maybe in south africa.

Bonus) I am 26 years old a virgin and will most likly stay that way for the rest if my life. Now dont missunderstand it is,not,due to lack of ability, opportunity, or desire. What it is due to is me not knowing or being able to imagine anyone I would care to be that close to much less intimate with. Then there is also the fact that I have a number of sado-sexual fetishes that I am not sure I could keep in check. So in the end the possible pleasure is out weighed by the the possible probplems, so I just do without

Gender: male
Sexual Orientation: straight




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