Chili con carne

My friend has asthma. I put his inhaler up my ass and laughed at him when he was forced to use it to get a breath. 

I have rough skin on my feet I like to pick bits of it off and cook it in the chilli I feed to guests. Then I laugh at them for being canibals. 

Once, in NYC, an Irish waitress was really rude and nasty to us.  I went back later and put superglue in all the padlocks on the grates over the front windows and doors. 

I have peed off the top of a good proportion of world 

landmarks including: Petronas towers, golden gate bridge, Brooklyn bridge, Space needle, Edinburgh Castle and Eiffel tower.

But I've had sex in one of the cabs on the London eye  

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