Private hell made public

1.) I have been raped 4 times in my life (once by a friend's father). This does not include being molested by my cousin from age 7-10 (btw, he's 7 years older than me). What hurts the most is that my mom knows he did that and acts like it never happened. In fact- goes out of her way to be his friend!

2.) I became anorexic around 18 because the man I loved stopped "seeing" me. It tore me apart and to this day, I have HUGE issues with trusting people and believing that someone could love me.

3.) All my friends think my current boyfriend is mentally and emotionally abusive but I know I can't live without him. Pathetic, I know. He always tears my thoughts and feelings to shreds and has made me feel suicidal.

4.) My best friend was assaulted by a teacher at our high school and I often fantasize about killing him even though it was almost 9 years ago. She's betrayed me a couple of times in the past- but she's the only person I could ever forgive.

5.) I keep a lot to myself. People would be beyond surprised if they really knew what I've been through. I just hope that someone reading this doesn't have to go through this kind of private hell like I am.

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