1. i still have a lot of feelings for my ex, even though we have been broke up since march. i love her to death. there is nothin that i wouldnt do for her.
2. she has recently found God and is walking that path. i want to walk that path too but i only want to do it if i can do it with my ex. i want to talk WITH her, not beside her.
3. i masterbate any chance i get. i love sex and anything that feels good. i like having my butthole licked and fingered.
4. i wanted to sabatoge my ex's relationship with her new bf. but i be damned something happned with out my help. i had changed my mind on doing that. i knew it wasnt gonna take me to do it. now i just wish she would see that i am willing to change for the better and do whatever it takes to get her back.
5. i do not know where my life is taking me right now. i have a job, a house, food, and friends. there is someone special to me but she is doing her thing right now. not sure she will ever come back to me.
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That saying "If you let something go and it's meant to be it will come back to you" it's really true. You have to truely let go and move on. If it's meant to be it could very well happen. You never know what fate will do. I was once in the same situation as you. I had a hate/love relationship for a woman. I wanted to ruin her in so many ways because she broke my heart. Well, I moved on and even dated a couple of people then 3 years later we ended up back together and have been married for 5 years now. I tell you, you never know what fate will do.
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