Not worth free rent

1. I masterbate every night, it helps me sleep and it stops me from thinking about how my boyfriend is perfect for me but he has the lowest self esteem ever.. Resulting in me not getting laid for quite a while. : (
2. My first time having sex was not my choice he forced me to the ground. He lived in my neighbourhood and he was one of those, formerly known as my " friend".  When I finally had the nerve to tell my mom she told me that it was my fault. I could have said no.
3. I have these amazing fantasies about my boy friend fucking another women in the ass while she eats me out. We've talked about having a threesome but I'm scared that he might like her more and leave. The other night he suggested that I might like being with a girl so much that ill leave him but I would never let what I have go.
4. I lived with a couple once when I was seventeen and they got me realllly drunk and fucked me on their bed. He had a small Dick and she wasn't aggressive enough when she ate me out.
5. The next night when his girl friend was at work he told me that it would be nice if I let him fuck me again. It was so scary that I told him I wouldn't look into his eyes. I was living there basically for free, he figured I owed it to him.