No one to turn to

I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
I've done everything that's been expected of me, yet I'm not sure I'm on the path I'm supposed to be.
I'm afraid I'm wasting my life with someone I shouldn't be with while creating the illusion of perfection in another.
All my life I've been working toward something I honestly feel I want but equally feel I'm not meant to have.
I lost my best friend a few years ago and have never confided in anyone how devastating it was, because my friend was the only person in which I have ever comfortably confided.