Looking for a beard

**I'm absolutely terrified of growing old. I don't want people to remember me as a wrinkly old woman. I want them to remember me with a little youth atleast.
**If I'm not dead by 40 I'm going to kill myself.
**I've had terrible luck with guys and I can't ever see myself getting married. Maybe if I'm married and happy with myself when I'm 40, I'll have a reason to live.
**I really want a baby. I'm a junior in high school and I know it would ruin me, but all I want is someone to have of my own. I want my son/daughter already.
**I wish I could run away with an older bearded man who would take such good care of me. We would run away with my best friend, her cholo lover and a shitload of legal drugs and hennessy. That would be the life.