In hiding

1. I gave head more then 4 times. & I'm a fifteen year old boy.
2. I told my mom & bestfriends I was raped, when secretly, I wanted it, but I don't want anyone to think of me as a whore.
3. I masturbate a lot, but too scared to admit it.
4. when I was about 9 I lost my virginity to a guy.
5. I find old men attractive, 'cause I feel they have more experience in sex. so they'll be better in bed.