Collage is hard

1) i love masturbating(im a gal) i do it atleast twice a day. Is not that i cant get none i just love to do it.
2) i love my co worker who is way older i fanazies about him always
3) i cheated my way through high school is kind of hard now in collage
4) i still love my ex we were together for years i think we can make it work if we would both get over the past. I dont want him but i dont want any one else to have him
5)despite all this im only 21 and im scared i will never find a man who will truely love me as much as my ex; he was great but we can ever get over the past!