But I'm not gay

1. I am in love with a woman whom I have never met in person.                                            
2. I love to smoke crack and watch porn. I don't do it a lot, but its my favorite passtime.
3. I fucked my best friends wife while he was in jail. It was the hottest piece of ass that I have ever had. Whenever I see her and we make eye contact I get an instant hard on. I masturbate to that memory daily.
4. I love what I do for a living, but it is ruining my life.
5. I would love to be in a room with 5 pornstar looking women and have lots of toys around. I would want the most dominant one to fuck me with a strap on while the others took turns sitting on my face. I am not gay but I bet the dildo ramming my lubed ass would make me cum.