Better weird than boring

1. I am absolutely terrified of the future..
2. I haven't completely gotten over all the mean things my boyfriend tells me, even though he says he doesn't. You wouldn't say it if you didn't mean it at least a little. It kills me.
3. My best friend hates my boyfriend because of the way he treats me but I do not know how to function without him.
4. I dont have many friends because im socially awkward and everyone labels me as weird. I try to not let it bother me but it hurts so much that nobody will give me a chance.
5. I fear I met the man I am supposed to marry last year after my boyfriend broke up with me but we never hada chance to be a couple or date because my boyfriend changed his mind and wanted me back. I chose my boyfriend out of fear. Fear of being alone. I love my boyfriend but Im so young and confused..