Home school heartache

1. Since I met my current best friend who is one of the hottest, most popular seniors at school, I've had a crush on him.
2. My mother trusts me with the world. Truth is I hook up with all my guy friends and drink and do ecstasy. All those on a constant basis.
3. I know what it would take to get my best friend. Loose weight. Im not really fat or anything just chubby.
4. Everyone thinks im cool and have a great life because I only live with my dad and he's never home and am homeschooled and am able to drink and do drugs because of that but I do that only to get away from the loneliness.
5. All I want is to be a normal teen. Back in regular school with a loving family and friends. Being able to say no to drugs and alcohol. I just want to be loved.