The gift that keeps on giving

1.  i Knowingly gave my new boyfriend herpes and pretended like I didn't know I had it
2.   I used my moms vibrator when I was at her house and horny but didn't have mine with me.
3. I love my ex and want to get back together with him but his penis is too small so I fantasize about having sex with his friends when I fuck him.
4. Told my ex boyfriend I've only slept with 10 people when its acually closer to 50
5. I lie to my mom about where my money goes because I buy a lot of alcohol, cocaine, and weed.