Dangerous Affairs

I don't feel loved by my BF I been with him for eight years I was the other woman for five
I think he regrets leaving his baby MOMMA for me even though I'm a bad bitch and shes fat and ugly and she can't dress
I love my BF but I'm not in love with him the only reason I'm here is because I can't afford to live on my own and I love rubbing in his baby MOMMA face that he put me in this big ass house and shes living in a shack with her kids and I dont have any kids
I hate that he treats me like shit  when I try to leave he beats me but id rather take it from him until I find another man to love me and not just like me for my body I can't wait to leave his ass and be happy I really wish he would change so we can make things work and fall back I'm love
I wish I would have never started seeing my BF cause I would be so much further in life bit I'm secretly getting mylife in order and imma leave him but I'm scared because I know he will try to kill me