Courage from and for within

My husband wants to leave me. I know somewhere inside of me that he's not really wanting to try anymore, he's just comfortable with me. I love him so much though. I don't think he'll ever realize how much of my life revolves around him.

It hurts to have sex ever since I had my baby. I've cried from it, and I love sex so this is a problem. Mostly I just try to deal but I think that's another contributing factor towards #1.

I literally have no friends. I want to move back to my hometown, but then I would pretty much lose my mom. And I don't think hubby really likes the idea of moving away from his mom either. They're joined at the hip.

I still think about cutting. I used to be so bad, and I quit for my husband and family. I would never want it to affect my parenting, but all this stress lately..

I dream about going crazy and telling everyone how I really feel, hurting people, etc. Sometimes I wish I had the courage to just be who I really am. I can never make a decision though.